My gratitude
Since childhood, I knew something was different about my circumstances. I wanted to keep a record of my experiences, so I started writing my journals at the age of eleven, but I didn’t have the conviction to say, “I have a story to tell.” Recently, though, when I decided to share the twists and turns of my life in a book portraying events that occurred while traversing multiple cultures, languages, religions, and geographical areas, I was confronted with a few hurdles: a language deficiency and suppressed emotions of guilt and fear about my past. Impasse?
Languages
I can speak, read, and write three languages, and I have functional skills in two more. When people ask me where I am from or what my native language is, I’m hesitant to respond because the answer is not straightforward. If I say I am Yemeni and speak Arabic, people assume I am a typical Arab, which I am not. But to say I am Ethiopian and speak Amharic also does not present the full picture of who I am.
It could be said that Arabic is my native tongue because that is the first language that I learned, but in my first five years, I also learned Amharic and Oromo, two of Ethiopia’s eighty-eight languages. In addition, my father started to teach me some English words when I was a toddler, and as a student, I started to officially learn English. In the 1970s when I was growing up, once children in Ethiopia reached grade 7, all subjects were taught in English.
In my formal Amharic lessons, my instructor also taught me Geʽez. Probably the easiest way to explain the relationship between Geʽez and Amharic is this: Geʽez is to Amharic as Latin is to Italian. It is the root language of Amharic, but it is also a dead language—one that is not used any longer other than for formal biblical studies, much like Latin is used by the Roman Catholic Church.
None of the hurdles I faced deterred me, though. I chose to start writing my memoir. My two daughters, who initially read only Volume 1, told me, “Baba, you wrote plenty of information, but you included few emotions.” I felt like a news reporter relaying facts rather than sharing the painful story of my past.
I can only write about my life as a memo! Really? Who would want to read that! I thought. The facts and figures of my life are easy to tell, but how do I make the events engaging? I began to ask myself. How do I turn my story into one that people would want to read? One filled with interesting dialogue, unique characters, and intriguing situations? I didn’t think there were words to express the fear, the anguish, the hopelessness, and the feelings of loss in the mind and heart of an eight-year-old boy who was left alone and homeless! I didn’t know where or how to start to write my own memoir in an honest and genuine manner with the appropriate sentiment.
For these reasons, I also cannot give a clear answer when asked, “How many languages do you speak?” Four? Five? Maybe four and a half! The fact is, I felt incapable of writing my memoir in any of them.
I have written a plethora of technical reports and articles based on facts and information. In a similar way that most humans respond to the melody of good songs, I appreciate a well-written book because I have always been a voracious reader of multiple genres. Those I have been able to connect with and still remember are books with emotions because emotion is a universal constant, and that’s what people connect to.
EMOTION
My first fifty years were excruciating, particularly my childhood. As a child, teenager, and young adult, I felt like I was in a space shuttle floating in orbit in an unfamiliar atmosphere with limited oxygen in the tank. I had no one for me but me at that moment!
Did I say “moment”? What is a moment, a brief period of time? Well, mine was years long!
Traumatic experiences and unreconciled questions haunt me even today. Until I decided to write these books, I always kept myself occupied with day-to-day affairs as a means of not dealing with my previous ordeals. Avoidance was my main coping mechanism.
But I knew that to get my story out I had to confront my painful past. When my mind began swirling, replaying events, and stirring up emotions from these events, I was frequently overwhelmed and brought to tears. To tell you the truth, when I embarked on writing my memoir, I had nightmares. I didn’t want to acknowledge the emotions; the memories still hurt! Every so often, I remained frozen in front of my computer, and my thoughts zoomed out despite all my attempts to focus on writing. Hours would go by without having constructed a single sentence.
Then, I would put a stop to my futile attempts, leave my desk, and go for a run. Over time, and through this repeated cycle, I began to realize—I had been running away from me all my life! Running was not only a coping strategy but also a metaphor for how I had failed—for decades—to acknowledge and process my painful past.
GUILT
I was worried about hurting or upsetting the people who would be characters in my life story (my family and friends). There are details and events in my memoir that are not talked about in my cultures. I was petrified of violating the norms and values I grew up with and crossing the religious boundaries I was taught not to cross. I didn’t want to embarrass or shame my family, but I needed to be honest, first and foremost with myself but also with my readers. Despite my trepidation, I felt strongly I needed to make certain political and social comments throughout the books as they pertain to my story.
Elements of my story need to be told. So I have made the effort to present certain touchy and even taboo subjects respectfully to allow readers on all sides to learn about different cultural sides of various personal, social, and political issues.
FEAR
For the most part, I have now processed and reconciled a good number of my pains … at least I think so. But what about writing about me, my most intimate and vulnerable moments, and having to look at my own life in the mirror? Doing so would involve taking a piece of my soul and putting it forward for public consumption. There are details of my life in these books that no one knew about until now (except the people involved). Now the world will know some of the most intimate moments of my life! The notion of sharing my emotions but also my personal history was scary; releasing these emotions and details almost broke me!
I knew that doing these books properly would be an uphill battle. I needed help. So I found the right people to help me tell my story.
I own my story. I lived the life. I have the scars and stars to prove it. But the product you read is also my team’s. None of this could have been possible to achieve without their dedication. They didn’t do it for money because I didn’t have much to give. They thought my story has value for the reader!
I say, “A writer is a person who makes others smell flowers in words,” and these individuals have all helped my flowers grow.
Check the Team section of this site gets to know more about them.
Therefore, I start my books with gratitude!
MY TEAM
LORNA STUBER
Editor, Proofreader, and Co-Author.
TRACEY ANDERSON
Copy Editor
NESMA ABDALAZIZ
Arabic Language Writer
JANA RADE
Book Cover Designer
RAYMOND FELIZ
English Language Audiobook Narrator
HILINA TAFESSE
Images from Ethiopia
ABDULRASHMAN AL-ASADI
Images from Yemen
HAIFA AL MAASHI, PH.D.
Arabic Language Reviewer
DR. SOLOMON KEDAMAWI
Amharic Language Writer
LINA BEN-HARHARA
Website Developer & Designer
MARKUS WATSON
Book Trailer Video - Lead Creative & Owner of Ninja Media Studios.
SAHLE MANDEFRA
Public Relations - Global Ethiopian Community
G2 - (ARJIT) / SANNY
Photographs from Socotra Island
JANINE SHUM
The map of the Middle East and East Africa
MAKE THEM STAND OUT
LORNA STUBER
When I contacted Lorna and inquired about her background, she told me the following about herself:
“By the time I was twenty-five, I had lived on three continents (North and South America as well as Asia) and had made it a goal to check the other three off the list someday. While I’m fluent only in English, I have studied German and Japanese, and whenever I travel somewhere English is not the predominant language, I make a point of picking up a few words and phrases so I can at least express my thanks. I’m a former ESL teacher who is deeply fascinated with linguistics and anything to do with cultural anthropology.”
After Lorna and I agreed to work together, she admitted to me that during our initial talks, she was trying hard not to get her heart set on working on this project in case I chose to hire someone else.
To provide her a glimpse of my intent, I shared with her the rough first draft of the manuscript (80,000 words). In response, she said, “When I finished reading the first draft, I was gobsmacked. Your story could be a university course in any number of disciplines: sociology, cultural anthropology, history, Middle Eastern and African studies, linguistics, religion, even women’s studies. Everything I am passionate about.”
I said to myself, She will require the least amount of time to orient.
After having shared with her my guilt, fear, and emotional challenges, I asked Lorna if she could do the heavy lifting of developing the manuscript without altering my voice. I suggested that she probe me—push me—to dig deep within myself and verbally explain to her my feelings about the events of my life so that she could fill in the gaps in my writing. We would need to have multiple conversations to make up for my shortcomings in expressing my thoughts and emotions so that we could prompt readers to bring their own emotions to the book.
She agreed!
She was the first team member, with a few more to come!
SOLOMON KEDAMAWI
I had a burning desire for my books to be written in my native languages (Amharic and Arabic). After all, I’m a product of places where I was born and grew up. People from back home would be able to relate to, be inspired by, and learn something from my story. Due to the extensive education I received in English and having lived more than half of my life in North America, I found myself no longer able to tell my own story in my first languages. The search for Arabic and Amharic language writers was necessitated.
I met Solomon through a mutual friend named Abera Lamma, a well-known writer and poet in Ethiopia. I learned Solomon was trained as a medical doctor. He had also earned a master’s degree in natural and social sciences. As I dug up more, I discovered he spoke French, Italian, Greek, and Hebrew on top of English. Moreover, for the first time in about fifty years, I ran into a person who had actually studied Geʽez!
Arguably, he is one of the best authors, with the combined skills and experience of translating eighteen books from English to Amharic. I was curious as to how he ended up a writer and why in the world a medical professional would want to write.
Despite his being in Ethiopia and the ten-hour time difference, we agreed to talk and see where things went. He listened to me carefully. His silence on the phone made me wonder if my awkward Amharic, with plenty of English sentences, could have confused him. I was wrong! He was simply listening and absorbing what I was explaining to him. He asked for a draft of the manuscript before committing to anything.
In subsequent conversations, I found many parallels between the two of us: he had been born at the same hospital I was born in; he lived in the same neighborhood I had lived in; and as a child, he played soccer with his friends on the same soccer field I did. He was imprisoned for his involvement with the Ethiopian People’s Revolutionary Party (EPRP) as I was. He told me the story is no longer mine only, but that of the two of us. He took the initiative to speak to my relatives and other parties who contributed to my early childhood in Ethiopia. There was little I needed to explain to him. Rather, I gave him the freedom to acquire more information to complete the manuscript. In the end, he has become a character in the book.
Solomon was born, grew up in, and is still living in Addis Ababa, which exactly what my story needed. He is the face of Addis Ababa!
NESMA ABDALAZIZ
The Arabic part was the most problematic for me because most good Arabic writers I know do not read English. I also wanted the writer to have at least some exposure to the Yemeni and Hadhrami social fabric. There are twenty-two Arab countries on the planet, and despite many similarities, we also have significant differences on many levels.
After an exhaustive search, I found Nesma. Nesma was a prime candite for a few reasons. She lives in my neck of the woods, which makes frequent exchanges easy and enjoyable. Aside from being versed in English and Arabic, she studied literature in both languages in Egypt. Moreover, most Arabic movies and soap operas are in the Egyptian dialect of Arabic. If she accidently went heavy on the Egyptian side of the Arabic, most likely it would be understood by many.
One aspect of Nesma in particular struck me. Perhaps true to many immigrants, she possesses a strong ambition and determination to be successful! She brought an energy that I didn’t have!
We needed a second set of eyes for consistency and cultural aspects, regardless. The search continued!
HAIFA AL-MAASHI
Haifa has a PhD in journalism and is based London, UK. She spent many years studying different languages, subjects, and literature at several universities in various countries. What I learned after a few conversations with her was very interesting: her grandfather was a business partner with my father, and her mother and one of my oldest sisters were friends while living in Kuwait.
Initially, I was apprehensive she would take offense to my blunt, honest, and clear descriptions of my past encounters, in particular to my negative experiences while living in Yemen. Contrary to my fears, she encouraged me tell the truth despite the reactions I may face. She agreed to add a female voice representing Yemeni women.
What else could I ask for?
TRACEY L. ANDERSON
While the five of us immersed ourselves in compiling, developing, and retelling my story in three different languages, we knew we needed an additional person who could ensure consistency and correctness in grammar, spelling, and punctuation, as well as appropriate and engaging story flow, structure, tone, and wording. Lorna told me a little about Tracey.
On her website, Tracey states, “I love words and how they work and play together, and this has been the guiding principle of my career. I seek out projects that teach me new things, satisfy my curiosity, and engage my interests in people’s stories and in the world around me.” That appealed to me, as did more of her words: “If you need written materials that capture your audience and convey your message clearly, but lack the time, skills and/or confidence to create them, let’s connect to discuss how I can transform your ideas into words.” I thought she spoke to me directly! Because Tracey lived ten years in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates, she is also knowledgeable about Arab culture, so I was eager to talk to her.
Tracey, Lorna, and I connected on a Zoom call, and I immediately knew Tracey was the remaining addition my team needed.
***
I own my story. I lived the life. I have the scars and stars to prove it. But the product you read is also my team’s. None of this could have been possible to achieve without their dedication. They didn’t do it for money because I didn’t have much to give. They thought my story has value for the reader!
I say, “A writer is a person who makes others smell flowers in words,” and these individuals have all helped my flowers grow. Therefore, I start my books with gratitude!